Decisions

Reasonable - what is reasonable for us as a society?

Consistent - what is the best chance of having a consistent learning environment for my kid?

Flexible - how flexible will the virtual learning option be?

Normalize - how long will we be wearing masks? will we eventually think of it as normal?

Anxiety - what is our society going to look like one year from now?

Fear - when will I have to take my COVID-19 test?

These are words that have been circling in my head for the past couple of weeks. Words that I didn't think would ever have as much weight to their meaning as they do right now. 

Parents, we are facing decisions. For some, it's the hardest decision we've had to make. For some, it's an easy decision. For some, the decision is out of their hands. 

In-Person

Virtual

Homeschool

For us, it's one of the hardest decisions we've had to make. Until last week I was adamant about the girls going back to school in-person. We are both working from home and doing virtual learning again made me want to curl up in a ball and hide - we did not have a good experience with it in the spring. The school district (and teachers) have all admitted that it was emergency learning and they were 'learning to fly the plane while in the air.' 

Then we received the re-entry plan and the school board had a live community forum where they talked about what going back to school in-person will look like and after that forum, we talked about switching to the virtual option because there was no consistency for the in-person plan. On any given day we could get a phone call that someone in the class tested positive and the whole class would have to be sent home for 10 days. That's also where the 'fear' comes in - not afraid of someone testing positive, but waiting for the phone call every day to find out if my kid will be in school the next day or not. There was even mention of 'classroom' testing, where they would bring in someone to test all the kids - um, hello - the majority of people that I've talked with said test is horrible - let's just traumatize the kids all at the same time. If my child needs to be tested, I'd like to be with her. If the kids are sent home for 10 days - does that mean they'll switch to the virtual learning for that time period? I don't want her going back and forth between in-person and virtual - there's no consistency.

So then the virtual option comes into play. As I mentioned, the virtual learning this past spring was a pretty bad experience, but we know they've had all summer to prepare for this, so it has to be better, right? We are trying to be optimistic, but our school still doesn't have a plan - and that's not sitting well. The positive about this option is that she could still get virtual interaction with classmates that are in her class. She would still be learning in her high-ability class. The school is just asking for a 9-week commitment and we could return in-person if we want. 

Then the term homeschool starts to float around in my head. Just one year of homeschool for Paige - we can manage that, right? We would get to pick a curriculum that would suit her needs and learning speed. The schedule would be flexible, she can go at her pace. We wouldn't be tied to what the school is telling us to do. If we already will have 'high parental involvement' - then why not do what we want to do. Paige would still get to see the friends she sees now - that wouldn't change, we wouldn't be isolating her from her peers.

This sucks - I don't want to have to make these decisions. I'm sure the school boards don't want to have to make these decisions. No one does - which is why the decision keeps trickling down. 

And then there's my almost 5-year old who misses being around other kids so much and needs to be around other kids!

I don't want to say we are faced with the 'impossible' - there are far worse decisions we could have to make. We are faced with a choice that there is no 'right' answer for - no matter what choice we make, we'll hear the voices of others:

- "We just need to get back to normal"

- "This is ridiculous, the kids will be fine"

- "You sent your kid to school in-person?! You are part of the spread now"

- "You are acting out of fear"

There is no way to normalize what's happening in our society. We don't want to normalize it, we want to go back to our lives, but we don't know how to. 

We all have our opinions about COVID - and we are all in different places. We still need to be respectful human beings towards others' opinions. The information available is overwhelming and we all go to different sources. 

This won't go on forever. I feel like I'm missing out on life right now because I'm living my life in a COVID-controlled world, but I need to be living my life in a controlled-COVID world. We can't let COVID control us - but we can keep taking steps to control COVID. #maskup